| CHAPTER V. Advice from a Caterpillar The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence : at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth , and addressed her in a languid , sleepy voice . 'Who are YOU ? ' said the Caterpillar . This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation . Alice replied , rather shyly , 'I--I hardly know , sir , just at present--at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning , but I think I must have been changed several times since then . ' 'What do you mean by that ? ' said the Caterpillar sternly . 'Explain yourself ! ' 'I ca n't explain MYSELF , I 'm afraid , sir ' said Alice , 'because I 'm not myself , you see . ' 'I do n't see , ' said the Caterpillar . 'I 'm afraid I ca n't put it more clearly , ' Alice replied very politely , 'for I ca n't understand it myself to begin with ; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing . ' 'It is n't , ' said the Caterpillar . 'Well , perhaps you have n't found it so yet , ' said Alice ; 'but when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day , you know--and then after that into a butterfly , I should think you 'll feel it a little queer , wo n't you ? ' 'Not a bit , ' said the Caterpillar . 'Well , perhaps your feelings may be different , ' said Alice ; 'all I know is , it would feel very queer to ME . ' 'You ! ' said the Caterpillar contemptuously . 'Who are YOU ? ' Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation . Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar 's making such VERY short remarks , and she drew herself up and said , very gravely , 'I think , you ought to tell me who YOU are , first . ' 'Why ? ' said the Caterpillar . Here was another puzzling question ; and as Alice could not think of any good reason , and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind , she turned away . 'Come back ! ' the Caterpillar called after her . 'I 've something important to say ! ' This sounded promising , certainly : Alice turned and came back again . 'Keep your temper , ' said the Caterpillar . 'Is that all ? ' said Alice , swallowing down her anger as well as she could . 'No , ' said the Caterpillar . Alice thought she might as well wait , as she had nothing else to do , and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing . For some minutes it puffed away without speaking , but at last it unfolded its arms , took the hookah out of its mouth again , and said , 'So you think you 're changed , do you ? ' 'I 'm afraid I am , sir , ' said Alice ; 'I ca n't remember things as I used--and I do n't keep the same size for ten minutes together ! ' 'Ca n't remember WHAT things ? ' said the Caterpillar . 'Well , I 've tried to say " HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE , " but it all came different ! ' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice . 'Repeat , " YOU ARE OLD , FATHER WILLIAM , " ' said the Caterpillar . Alice folded her hands , and began : -- 'You are old , Father William , ' the young man said , 'And your hair has become very white ; And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- Do you think , at your age , it is right ? ' 'In my youth , ' Father William replied to his son , 'I feared it might injure the brain ; But , now that I 'm perfectly sure I have none , Why , I do it again and again . ' 'You are old , ' said the youth , 'as I mentioned before , And have grown most uncommonly fat ; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- Pray , what is the reason of that ? ' 'In my youth , ' said the sage , as he shook his grey locks , 'I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- Allow me to sell you a couple ? ' 'You are old , ' said the youth , 'and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet ; Yet you finished the goose , with the bones and the beak-- Pray how did you manage to do it ? ' 'In my youth , ' said his father , 'I took to the law , And argued each case with my wife ; And the muscular strength , which it gave to my jaw , Has lasted the rest of my life . ' 'You are old , ' said the youth , 'one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever ; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- What made you so awfully clever ? ' 'I have answered three questions , and that is enough , ' Said his father ; 'do n't give yourself airs ! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff ? Be off , or I 'll kick you down stairs ! ' 'That is not said right , ' said the Caterpillar . 'Not QUITE right , I 'm afraid , ' said Alice , timidly ; 'some of the words have got altered . ' 'It is wrong from beginning to end , ' said the Caterpillar decidedly , and there was silence for some minutes . The Caterpillar was the first to speak . 'What size do you want to be ? ' it asked . 'Oh , I 'm not particular as to size , ' Alice hastily replied ; 'only one does n't like changing so often , you know . ' 'I DON'T know , ' said the Caterpillar . Alice said nothing : she had never been so much contradicted in her life before , and she felt that she was losing her temper . 'Are you content now ? ' said the Caterpillar . 'Well , I should like to be a LITTLE larger , sir , if you would n't mind , ' said Alice : 'three inches is such a wretched height to be . ' 'It is a very good height indeed ! ' said the Caterpillar angrily , rearing itself upright as it spoke ( it was exactly three inches high ) . 'But I 'm not used to it ! ' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone . And she thought of herself , 'I wish the creatures would n't be so easily offended ! ' 'You 'll get used to it in time , ' said the Caterpillar ; and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again . This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again . In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice , and shook itself . Then it got down off the mushroom , and crawled away in the grass , merely remarking as it went , 'One side will make you grow taller , and the other side will make you grow shorter . ' 'One side of WHAT ? The other side of WHAT ? ' thought Alice to herself . 'Of the mushroom , ' said the Caterpillar , just as if she had asked it aloud ; and in another moment it was out of sight . Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute , trying to make out which were the two sides of it ; and as it was perfectly round , she found this a very difficult question . However , at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go , and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand . 'And now which is which ? ' she said to herself , and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect : the next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin : it had struck her foot ! She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change , but she felt that there was no time to be lost , as she was shrinking rapidly ; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit . Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot , that there was hardly room to open her mouth ; but she did it at last , and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 'Come , my head 's free at last ! ' said Alice in a tone of delight , which changed into alarm in another moment , when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found : all she could see , when she looked down , was an immense length of neck , which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her . 'What CAN all that green stuff be ? ' said Alice . 'And where HAVE my shoulders got to ? And oh , my poor hands , how is it I ca n't see you ? ' She was moving them about as she spoke , but no result seemed to follow , except a little shaking among the distant green leaves . As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head , she tried to get her head down to them , and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction , like a serpent . She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag , and was going to dive in among the leaves , which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering , when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry : a large pigeon had flown into her face , and was beating her violently with its wings . 'Serpent ! ' screamed the Pigeon . 'I 'm NOT a serpent ! ' said Alice indignantly . 'Let me alone ! ' 'Serpent , I say again ! ' repeated the Pigeon , but in a more subdued tone , and added with a kind of sob , 'I 've tried every way , and nothing seems to suit them ! ' 'I have n't the least idea what you 're talking about , ' said Alice . 'I 've tried the roots of trees , and I 've tried banks , and I 've tried hedges , ' the Pigeon went on , without attending to her ; 'but those serpents ! There 's no pleasing them ! ' Alice was more and more puzzled , but she thought there was no use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished . 'As if it was n't trouble enough hatching the eggs , ' said the Pigeon ; 'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day ! Why , I have n't had a wink of sleep these three weeks ! ' 'I 'm very sorry you 've been annoyed , ' said Alice , who was beginning to see its meaning . 'And just as I 'd taken the highest tree in the wood , ' continued the Pigeon , raising its voice to a shriek , 'and just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last , they must needs come wriggling down from the sky ! Ugh , Serpent ! ' 'But I 'm NOT a serpent , I tell you ! ' said Alice . 'I 'm a--I 'm a-- ' 'Well ! WHAT are you ? ' said the Pigeon . 'I can see you 're trying to invent something ! ' 'I--I 'm a little girl , ' said Alice , rather doubtfully , as she remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day . 'A likely story indeed ! ' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt . 'I 've seen a good many little girls in my time , but never ONE with such a neck as that ! No , no ! You 're a serpent ; and there 's no use denying it . I suppose you 'll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg ! ' 'I HAVE tasted eggs , certainly , ' said Alice , who was a very truthful child ; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do , you know . ' 'I do n't believe it , ' said the Pigeon ; 'but if they do , why then they 're a kind of serpent , that 's all I can say . ' This was such a new idea to Alice , that she was quite silent for a minute or two , which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding , 'You 're looking for eggs , I know THAT well enough ; and what does it matter to me whether you 're a little girl or a serpent ? ' 'It matters a good deal to ME , ' said Alice hastily ; 'but I 'm not looking for eggs , as it happens ; and if I was , I should n't want YOURS : I do n't like them raw . ' 'Well , be off , then ! ' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone , as it settled down again into its nest . Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could , for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches , and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it . After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands , and she set to work very carefully , nibbling first at one and then at the other , and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter , until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height . It was so long since she had been anything near the right size , that it felt quite strange at first ; but she got used to it in a few minutes , and began talking to herself , as usual . 'Come , there 's half my plan done now ! How puzzling all these changes are ! I 'm never sure what I 'm going to be , from one minute to another ! However , I 've got back to my right size : the next thing is , to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be done , I wonder ? ' As she said this , she came suddenly upon an open place , with a little house in it about four feet high . 'Whoever lives there , ' thought Alice , 'it 'll never do to come upon them THIS size : why , I should frighten them out of their wits ! ' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again , and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high . |